R.I.P. George

I was too young for Lenny Bruce, but I was just old enough for George Carlin.

Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.

I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death.

Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.

Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.

"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence?

I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.

May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.

Update: Althouse goes all out in her tribute to Carlin. Film.